This is episode 5 of the Gambling Still Sucks podcast. In this episode, we’ll be talking about dealing with gambling thoughts and gambling urges.
Hey there, and welcome to the Gambling Still Sucks podcast. My name is Jamie. I am a compulsive gambler, and I’m also the host of this show. The date of my last bet was July 15th, 2010.
As you begin your recovery process from compulsive gambling, one of the things that comes up often is, “How do I deal with all these gambling thoughts and urges?” It’s definitely one of the most difficult challenges because we know that these thoughts and urges are what have triggered us in the past and led us to go to the ATM, take out a bunch of cash, head to the casino, and think things would be different—only to wake up the next morning angry at ourselves for repeating the cycle.
We understand how important it is to deal with these gambling thoughts and urges, but we often feel that we’ve done a terrible job, which is why we ended up where we did. So, how do we deal with them? Today, I want to share some of my thoughts on dealing with gambling thoughts and urges. Hopefully, this will help you, as these strategies have been very helpful for me.
First of all, I want to focus on the difference between a gambling thought and a gambling urge. Whether you call them gambling thoughts or urges, they are closely related. Both are that spark in your mind that says, “Hey, I have money in my bank account. I can go to the casino.” For some people, it’s more of a physical urge—an uncomfortable feeling or anxiety that drives the desire to go gamble, perhaps to win back losses.
Whether you call it a thought or an urge, they serve the same purpose in this episode because the process I’ve used to deal with them is the same for both. This process is something I got from a book called *Change Anything*, which is an awesome book and highly recommended. It’s all about using yourself as both the scientist and the subject, and one of their strategies involves telling yourself the full story.
At first, I wasn’t sure what “telling myself the full story” meant. But as I dug into it and applied it to my gambling, it all started to make sense, and it’s been very clear for me ever since. For me, the full story is this: When I go to play poker, I end up in debt and miserable. That’s the truth.
For many years, I held onto only the winning part of the story. I would tell myself, “Hey, you’re good at poker,” and there was some truth to that. I did win at times, and I had a big win during one particular month in college that I kept trying to recreate. I played conservatively for that month, and I was disciplined—following all my self-imposed rules that were supposed to keep me in check. I convinced myself that I could repeat that success, and that’s the story I used to justify my gambling thoughts and urges.
But now, I tell myself the *full* story. Anytime a thought or urge comes up, I remind myself of what really happens when I go play poker. I start with a certain amount, maybe $200. I win some hands, and at some point, I may even have $600 or $800 in front of me. Then I start thinking, “Maybe I should leave.” But that thought gets counteracted by another thought: “Why leave now? You’re winning. You should stay.” And so I stay, and inevitably, I get a bad beat. Someone else gets lucky, I get upset, and my competitive nature kicks in. I start chasing those losses. Eventually, I lose it all, and I end up making the “drive of shame” home.
That drive home is the lowest point, and I’ve experienced it countless times. I remember thinking, “Why didn’t I just leave when I was up?” I called myself stupid. The misery of losing, of failing to stop—it’s a dark place. In that moment, nothing else matters but that sense of failure. That’s the full story. It’s not just about the winning moments; it’s about everything that follows.
There was a time when I even drew a graph to represent my experience. The graph showed an upswing—when I was winning—followed by a steep drop, which put me in the red. Each time I went back to gamble, I was starting behind. When I started putting all these spikes and drops together on a graph, it became clear that it was the same pattern repeating—every single time. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, and that’s exactly what I was doing.
So, getting back to today’s topic: How do I deal with gambling thoughts and urges? It comes down to telling myself the full story—remembering both the ups and the inevitable downs. It’s easy to leave out the negative parts and hold on to just the wins. But if we’re being honest, we know that those wins are never the full story. For me, remembering the full story has been an incredibly powerful tool in keeping me away from gambling.
I even used this technique one time while I was out to lunch with my wife. She asked, “Why are you so confident that you won’t gamble again?” I took a napkin and drew the graph. I said, “As long as I don’t forget this—this pattern—I’ll be okay.” That graph represents my reality. Keeping that full story fresh in my mind has kept me grounded. I’m at a point now where, yes, I could gamble. I have the money, and I have the time. But I know how it ends, and I know what’s at stake—my money, my family, and everything that’s good in my life. The full story is that all of that disappears if I go back to playing poker.
So that’s it—that’s how I deal with gambling thoughts and urges: by telling myself the full story. I encourage you to figure out what your full story is. What does your graph look like? Write it out or draw it. Keep that story accessible, so when you start to get those gambling thoughts or urges, you can pull it out and remind yourself of the truth.
I hope this strategy helps you as much as it has helped me. That wraps up this episode. I look forward to seeing you in the next episode, where we’ll deal with another common challenge—one that the gambling industry has built into many of its games: the concept of the “near miss.” Definitely tune in for that one.
As a disclaimer, this podcast does not provide legal or medical advice. Look, I’m not a doctor, an attorney, or a therapist. I’m just a guy who had a gambling problem. While we’ll discuss many topics, and I’ll provide insight into what worked for me, please seek the help of a professional. Go visit a lawyer, doctor, or therapist to help you deal with your gambling problem. The information we discuss is for informational purposes and should not be taken as professional legal or medical advice. Reliance on the information appearing on this podcast is solely at your own risk.
The music for this podcast is “Something Elated” by Broke For Free, and it is licensed under Creative Commons.
Thanks for listening, and I’ll see you in the next episode.
