As gambling was destroying every area of my life, I needed to seek out ways to build up my self-confidence. This was all a part of my elaborate fake it ’til you make it plan.
Unfortunately, just as gambling could make my life miserable, it also provided me with a way to feel better about myself.
VIRTUAL REALITY
One of the greatest things about gambling was the ability to create an artificial version of myself. It was a virtual reality to my otherwise depressing life.
Outside the poker room, my life was in shambles.
Inside, I could choose to play a completely different role. I could play the role of the successful person I wanted to be in my everyday life.
LOOKING THE PART
As a poker player, gambling takes place against other people. Therefore, it’s very important to control the appearance you give off at the table.
Much like in real life, I wanted to give off an appearance of being smart and successful. By showing up with a wad of cash, I was able to give the appearance that the money meant very little to me, allowing me to have a looser table image.
In many ways, the poker table was where I could act the part I wanted to play in real life.
Losing Was Easier
Not only did I feel better about myself, playing the role of successful businessman at the table made losing easier. I could laugh off a bad hand as I dug into my pocket to reload my chips.
I was down. But I wasn’t out.