This is episode 51 of the After Gambling Podcast, and in this episode, we’ll talk about New Year’s resolutions and other big proclamations.
Hey there, and welcome to the After Gambling Podcast. My name is Jamie. I am a compulsive gambler, and I’m also the host of this show. The last time I gambled was July 15th of 2010.
So first off, let me say Happy New Year. I’m putting this out the day before New Year’s, but depending on where you are in the world, you may already be in 2019 when you listen to this, so Happy New Year to you.
And with it being a new year, obviously, that means New Year’s resolutions, and so I figured this was a great opportunity to talk about New Year’s resolutions and other just kind of big proclamations. Because I see these made not just at the beginning of the year, although this is when they’re most common, but throughout the year.
You see people say, “Hey, I’m never going to gamble again. This is the last day one of my life,” and all these big proclamations, and there’s so much good and good intent behind those. But today, I want to talk about those resolutions and those intents, just so we can kind of dissect them and hopefully get something that is even more effective for you.
So let’s talk about the New Year’s resolutions. I personally am no longer a big resolutions guy. I used to be one that what I would say, “Okay, yeah, I’ll make these resolutions and have these goals.” And as I’ve talked about in previous episodes, I think a lot of this kind of focus on resolutions and goals led me into a lot of depression, a lot of anxiety at the end of the year, because I knew I wasn’t going to meet those goals that I had set 365 days ago.
So anymore, I just try to take actions throughout the year. Starting the podcast on my birthday was one. So yeah, it’s an interesting date. It was kind of something that I had penciled in.
And so I can see why. I can see why people use the beginning of the year. It feels like a fresh start, right?
But what I want to emphasize in this podcast is any day can be a fresh start. July 13th can be a fresh start. December 26th at 2 p.m. in the afternoon can be a fresh start.
It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Saturday, a Monday, midnight, 2 p.m., 2:35. It doesn’t matter when you start. The key is that you start.
And that’s been the one thing that I’ve really kind of noticed and taken action and it kind of falls in line with following my gut instinct. These days, I’m becoming more attuned with the fact that whenever my gut, my mind is kind of telling me something, it’s something I just need to go with.
And as I’ve started to do that, I’ve seen great results. I’m no longer kind of second-guessing myself. I’m no longer pushing things down the road. Because I used to be so good at kicking the can down the road and saying, “You know what, tomorrow I’m going to start working out.”
I mean, I’m looking back; the first day I got on the scale to start tracking again was September 17th. Random day.
But it was just a day that I decided, “You know what, I’m going to get on the scale.” And I had read up on keto, and I decided that was when I was going to start keto and when I was going to start kind of watching what I ate in a way to try and get my weight under control.
Because it was something that bothered me and bothered me. And I did the whole resolutions with food. Oh, New Year’s resolutions—hey, I’m going to lose 20 pounds. I’m going to get down to this weight.
Or, this is going to be the last time I eat this sugary snack. Or this is going to be the last time I go get this burger. Whatever the case may be, I had those big proclamations consistently around my food.
Before that, I had it with gambling. I’ve had it with so many different things in my life. But the truth is, just starting and just doing has been what makes a big difference in my life—not the big proclamations.
So I know there’s kind of that energy, there’s kind of that quick burst when you say, “Hey, you know, it’s a new year, fresh start. I’m going to do this. I’m going to go after this.” 2019 is going to be a year that I will not gamble.
And I’ll say confidently that I don’t think I’m going to gamble in 2019. But this is the other side of those resolutions and big proclamations.
I’ve gotten to the point now where I don’t make them. I don’t say I’m never going to do anything again. Just because I know it’s one of those things, I always keep my guard up.
That’s why I do the podcast. That’s why I go to GA every week, is to keep my guard up. Because the moment that I let that guard down and say, “I’m never going to do this,” and I feel comfortable, is the moment that things become more likely to happen in the future.
So I don’t make those big proclamations and I don’t set goals of reaching a goal weight. And it’s funny—I actually hit my goal weight, my old goal weight that I had set a long time ago, a couple of weeks ago.
And so when I hit it, it wasn’t a big thing though. It wasn’t like jumping up and down and celebrating, “Oh, I did it, I did it, I hit the goal.”
I’m just like, “Oh, that’s cool.” But it wasn’t something I set out to. It just kind of happened on the way of eating well and following some fasting and some other things that have been really cool for me.
And it wasn’t a destination, I guess. And so that was kind of the cool thing also, was I hit this number, and it wasn’t that I was dissatisfied. It was just part of the progress.
And so if you’re kind of starting the year and you say, “You know what? I’m not going to gamble in 2019,” I’m just going to encourage you, you know what? Just don’t gamble right now. Whatever right now is in your life, that’s when it’s important not to gamble.
And then two hours from now, when you’re there, you’re there and you decide, OK, a thought comes in, “Hey, you could gamble,” or maybe friends are going to the casino. Maybe should you go along with them? Decide in that moment again not to go, not to gamble.
It’s just one of these moment-by-moment things. And then if you do that, if every moment you just make the decision that you want to make to not gamble, and if you’re listening to this podcast, there’s a good chance that that’s the reason you’re listening—it’s because you want to live a life where you don’t gamble because gambling has taken over control of your life—then…
It just comes down to those little moments. So you don’t need January 1st to start having those moments. You can start them right now.
And if you’re listening to this in the future, and it’s May 6th at 8:49 p.m., guess what? It’s an awesome time to start. You don’t even have to wait till the morning. Just start right now. Start with those moments and say, “In this moment, I’m not going to gamble.”
And you can take this, like I have done, and apply this to other areas of your life—whether it’s to get in shape, to work out. You don’t need to wait until tomorrow to start working out. You can do it right now.
So that’s kind of my thoughts on New Year’s resolutions and goals all wrapped up into one. Like I say, I have some thoughts, some things I want to do in 2019, or just some big-picture things that I want to continue to progress towards.
They’re really way bigger. I know I can’t achieve them in 2019. I can’t achieve them in my lifetime. When I die, these things I’ll still be working towards.
So it’s one of those things. I have these North Stars that I want to lead towards that guide my life. But it’s not something that I’m putting this measurable thing where it’s either success or failure based on some metric along the way.
The podcast is a great example of this. We’re up over 30,000 downloads. I haven’t looked recently. There are times that I check it pretty frequently—over the holidays, I did not. So I don’t even know where it is.
But again, that’s something I didn’t set a goal for. And I think I mentioned before, I’d love to have a certain number by my birthday, but that was just kind of a random thought. It wasn’t like something that I’m so committed to, and I’m going to be devastated if it doesn’t hit or elated if it does.
It was just something that I looked out and said, “You know what? This could be doable.” So I guess that’s the thing with goals— if you have them along the way, I don’t think goals are bad.
I just think that it’s important not to make them these big proclamations. Like, “I’m going to hit 50,000 downloads by my birthday,” which, that was my little thought way back when. When I started to see where it was trending, I was like, “Man, I think this could get close and it’s going to get up near it.”
It won’t get all the way there. But again, it was something that was just kind of a thought. It’s a cool thing along the way. It’s not something that, when I get there, and I’m going to potentially fail at getting there, that’s going to devastate me.
Because that’s the other side of things that I want to talk about with goals and with resolutions—it’s defining until things go wrong, and then how we respond. And when things go wrong, which they inevitably do, like I say, I hope I never gamble again.
I hope I never have to address this situation of a failure in this area of my life. But if I do, that’s going to be the most important thing—how I react.
And by not setting this goal to never gamble again, then I think it’s going to soften that a little bit if I were to fall off. Which, again, I take the actions so where it’s going to be very difficult.
A guy in my GA talks about having packed snow, powdered snow. He creates a big amount of snow between him and the ground of gambling.
And as he said, it’s going to take a whole lot of sun to melt that snow to get down to where he would be in an opportunity and have the opportunity and time and money and all those types of things in order to place another bet.
And so I’m not that worried about that. But it’s something that, having these big all-or-nothings, are something that I think a lot of us have done in the past with our gambling.
And it’s something that can be really, really devastating the moment you break. And that’s why, a lot of times when I see people say, “Hey, I’m on day one,” I like to point out, “No, you’re on day one asterisk.”
Day one with an asterisk, which it’s a little bit different, because you’re never going to be on that same day one where you didn’t know anything. You were reading Reddit stories. You were posting on Twitter. You were starting to tell other people. You’ve already made all this progress.
So it’s not the same as day one. And that’s, I guess, hopefully a takeaway from this—is that resolutions, if you are successful at them, awesome. If you’re not, just realize that it’s progress. Your goal is progress, not perfection.
So if you’re listening to this and it’s some random time, just make that the time that you begin your resolution to take it a moment at a time. And in that moment, don’t gamble.
Thanks for everything this year. Remember, I’m not a doctor. I’m not an attorney. I’m not a lawyer. I’m not any of those things. I’m not a therapist. I have no letters before or after my name.
So please, make 2019—this’ll be your one resolution—the year that you start to take some more steps towards those things. And it is—do it within your comfort level, but start to reach out and get the help that you need because professional help is the key when it comes to recovering. Getting the right advice is extremely important.
This is great educational content, I hope, but for your situation, I just want you to seek out the best help possible.
And then finally, music for the show is Something Elated by Broke for Free, and it is licensed under the Creative Commons license.
I’m Jamie. I’m a compulsive gambler, and I will see you in the next episode in 2019.
