This is episode 47 of the After Gambling podcast, and today I am excited to be joined by the one and only Andy Margett. Yes, hashtag MyNameIsAndy. Hey there, and welcome to the After Gambling podcast. My name is Jamie. I am a compulsive gambler, and I’m also the host of this show. The last time I gambled was July 15th of 2010.
Today is a great episode. It’s one that I’ve been looking forward to for a long, long time because I was joined by Andy Margett, who you can find on his vlog on YouTube or on Twitter by searching for @BaronMad79. But have no fear, all of these links are in the show notes. And to make it easy to find them so you can connect with Andy and say thanks for coming on the show, you can just go to aftergambling.com/47 and that will take you to the show page.
You can find Andy’s links and be sure to tweet at him or send him a message on YouTube and use the hashtag MyNameIsAndy. So here’s the chat that I had with Andy Margett.
Jamie: Well, today I am joined by a very special guest. If you have been doing any type of research or looking into people on problem gambling online, you’ve probably come across my guest today. I have Andy Margett. Andy, good to have you on the show.
Andy: Hello, mate. You all right, Jamie?
Jamie: And so, the name will probably sound familiar. If you’ve ever been on YouTube and searched for compulsive gambling, you’ve probably come across Andy’s channel and the hashtag MyNameIsAndy. I’ll link all this stuff up in the show notes. But I guess, Andy, first of all, when did you even start to, I guess, when did you start the show? What was your thought behind it?
Andy: It was just like… I’d been about nine years clean, just over, and I was sort of thinking, I want to write my own story down, and I wanted to tell the whole world. I was torn between just writing it, I was torn between writing a blog. But a lot of people do that already, so I thought, nah, I’m gonna do a video just as a one-off, tell my story. You know, as you do, you share your story in a 10-minute, 10-and-a-half-minute video. And I thought nothing of it. I did it, put it up onto YouTube, and started getting quite a lot of comments quite quickly saying, “Oh, it’s brilliant!” and all that. People were quite interested in what I had to say and stuff.
And I thought, I’ll link this to my Twitter as well, because I was very active… I am very active on Twitter. And I thought I’ll link it up and then, every couple of weeks, just start doing a video. Initially, I was pre-recording, just doing, like, as if I was sharing in a Gamblers Anonymous meeting, so to speak. I just wanted to share how my week’s been, how I’m feeling, what my thoughts are. I appreciate I was, like, long down the road of recovery, but it was heartening to do it. People started asking, you know, talking, and there was a need for it, judging by how many people messaged me on social media asking for advice, help, and stuff. So, I just carried on, carried on, carried on.
Now, up to the present day, I actually stream live, so it’s all off the cuff, nothing written down, no script, just my thoughts, how my week’s been, or how my day’s been, what I’ve been up to, if I’ve gotten into any trouble or any skirmishes on Twitter, obviously. Obviously, I talk about my football a lot, my kids, my wife, the sport. I just try to show that you can have a normal life, and you can fight the addiction, really.
Jamie: Yeah, so you didn’t have any big plans going into this? It was just kind of, “Hey, I’m gonna document a little 10- or 11-minute video,” and all of a sudden it just kind of has gone from there, huh?
Andy: Yeah, definitely! It was just crazy. I think the initial video, it was like May or June 2016 when I started it. The original video has got over 40,000 hits now, which, for saying it’s quite a silent addiction and quite niche, that’s incredible. People have watched it that many times, and stuff like that. It’s not me just hitting it on repeat all the time, obviously! But, you know, I mean, why I carried on was, if I could get through to that one person and help them in their recovery, help them stay clean, or stop, or if they’d had a slip, so be it.
It’s an amazing thing. I’m happy if I’ve helped just that one person. And it’s quite humbling when I get so many messages of support and thanks. Because as compulsive gamblers, or gambling addicts, we struggle with praise and struggle to pat ourselves on the back. So, I’m patting myself on the back now, and it’s great! I love sharing the story and talking.
Jamie: Yeah, and like you said, I think there’s such a need. I mean, it was something I thought about too. I’d seen your show, obviously, I listened to Brian’s podcast, and I kind of knew just personally how much it helped me, like you say, in between meetings. It’s not something that replaces a meeting, or replaces anything, but it’s kind of cool to have these outlets where we can go on and share stories so that the person who isn’t ready to go to GA yet can go on and kind of get some flavor of that almost.
Andy: Yeah, obviously. I mean, as you see when I do the live comments, I let people talk within themselves on the live vlog, and they’re all trying to help each other, they’re all networking, and they’ve got another person to talk to. I think it’s critical when you first stop, and you’ve been off for a couple of weeks or a couple of months even. I always talk about a day at a time, and that first year is always the hardest when you stop, and you’ve got to have those barriers in place.
I always say, talk about how you’re feeling, tell somebody. This is why the vlog helps a lot of people because there’s always someone to talk to. Even if it’s just one person that can’t message, they’ve got somebody else to fall back on who understands what they’re going through. It helps them fight the urge at that moment in time. If you’ve got like four or five people to contact, message them. If one gets back to them, hey presto, really. It’s very niche, but I really enjoy doing it. And I’ll continue to do them, obviously.
Jamie: And I think what you’re hitting at is that you’ve created a community, right? Just a community where people come together and help each other out, much like a GA meeting but online. I guess my next question, which I probably already know the answer to, is how much has doing the show helped you?
Andy: Immensely, immensely. You’ve got to remember, at the end of the day, I always say you have to be selfish in your own recovery. I always have to look after me first, so to speak. So, for me to actually share my life with others, it’s an amazing thing for me. I’m still learning. In GA, you get loads of quotes — I plagiarize — “Learn to listen, listen to learn.” I get just as much out of someone who’s been off for a day or two compared to someone who’s been off 15, 20 years. You’re still learning.
Andy: And, you know, it sounds selfish again, but if people have slips, I really need to listen to them and see what happened to them. I don’t want to have that feeling of being there again, of doing something that I shouldn’t have done. It helps me to listen to people who are fresh, who are new, who have slipped — anyone really. And I get so much out of talking to other people and listening to their recoveries and pinching bits of their recoveries as well. So, I’ve learned loads. I’ve learned so much, and I’ve still got loads to learn.
I’m very rough around the edges, what I do and stuff, and I’ll admit that. But I think what helps with my vlogs and with the people who are coming on and commenting is the authenticity of the person, so to speak. Sometimes, you probably can’t get it as much through a social media aspect or Twitter, but on a vlog, when it’s live, it’s in the here and now. You’ve got that sudden feeling. You know how that person’s feeling at that exact moment instead of someone probably building up to a message for help for two or three weeks, so to speak. It gives someone the chance to release, to let it all out, and it can help, even if it’s just for half an hour or 40 minutes.
It’s not replacing a meeting, but it might build up to someone attending a GA meeting or getting in touch with GAMCARE or whatever services they want to go through. That’s the kind of thing, really.
Jamie: Yeah, so I guess it’s basically been all positive then? Have there been any negatives along the way — things that you didn’t expect or wish weren’t there?
Andy: Yeah, I mean, obviously you see me on social media and stuff, and when I first came out in 2016, I went to follow as many people as I could regarding gambling addiction. I didn’t realize there was such a broad range of views, to put it politely.
If you know what I mean. Yeah, I’ve gotten myself into some debates over time, and sometimes, it’s not helped me to talk about certain aspects of gambling addiction, or probably the politics of it all, especially in the UK with the campaigns and stuff like that. I have my own mind. Some people agree with me, some people disagree with me. That’s fine.
What I struggle with is, I don’t mind people questioning me — I’m fair game for my beliefs and views — as long as it’s done in a respectful way. I’m not a fan of tit for tat or arguing, because at the end of the day, all the people I pretty much talk to regarding the subject are gambling addicts or affected others. As long as it’s in a reasonable, debatable way and there’s no accusations, no lies or anything like that, I’m fine to talk to anybody. I’ll always defend my view. I’ll defend myself as well and my family, so to speak.
But I have pulled myself away from those kinds of debates because I knew it wasn’t really helping my recovery, even 10, 11 years in at the time. I’ve got to focus on me. I’ll go back to that number one thing — we have to be selfish and look after ourselves first.
Jamie:
I think that’s so true. The selfishness is where it all starts. Like you say, we can kind of get caught up in debating what the best way to get from point A to point B is, but the reality is there are a lot of different ways and a lot of different methods.
Andy:
Definitely.
Jamie:
The one question I have — and this is, again, a selfish question. When I first started this, I know I had a lot of just the fear, whether it was the shame and stigma — even not so much outside on Twitter because you still have the anonymous nature there — but with friends and family. I’ve just recently started to open up, and I know my experiences, but what have been your experiences?
Because I think a lot of people probably listening are like, “Well, I can’t tell anybody because they’re going to look upon me differently.” What’s been your feedback from friends or people in your social circle when they find out that, okay, you have this YouTube channel and that you’ve had this addiction?
Andy:
Yeah, it’s great. I mean, like I say, I’ve been wide open. And when I first came out, obviously I had to tell my wife first. And I’ll go back to the very beginning when I first stopped gambling and admitted I had a problem. But obviously, everyone’s reactions are different, so to speak.
My wife just lost complete trust in me and stuff. She was gobsmacked, really. She wouldn’t even hold my hand for a few weeks, five, six weeks. She wouldn’t stand next to me. I always had to walk in front or walk behind her. You just lose trust in you, and you’ve got total shame and stuff, all that.
Obviously, my mum and dad went ballistic at me when I told them, and her mum and dad as well. But they knew I needed help. The reaction was one of anger, then it was one of help.
For me, it was the best thing I did, having to tell people, my close family. It felt like a massive weight off my shoulders, so to speak. It wasn’t taboo anymore. I didn’t have to lie about it anymore. I didn’t have to hide letters or make up something about where I’d been or what I’d been doing. It felt like a massive pressure cooker on my chest until I managed to release it all.
Obviously, I gave my problems to everybody else then, and I’ve always been conscious of that. And through GA circles, you’re always trying to make amends. That’s what I’ve been doing to this day, really.
I remember opening up to friends and stuff, thinking, yeah, they could see it, if you know what I mean. But obviously, they couldn’t really intervene because they didn’t understand it. But for me, for my recovery, it was the best thing I ever did, opening up and sort of talking.
Then it took me a while to open up to the world, social media-wise and all that, but the best thing ever. It’s breaking my own stigma. It helped me grow as a person as well. It’s made me become a better person, actually, doing the vlogs as well, more than anything.
GA did anyway — that enabled me to change my mindset on things and not shoot first and ask questions later. I’ve taught myself to breathe, not do the first thing in my head, breathe, and do the second thing, so to speak. And the second thing is usually the better thing.
I’ve had great responses from friends and stuff. One or two of them were very keen and talked to me about it. I mean, I remember my mate Tom on Saturday, he took me out for dinner, bless him, and he was talking about how I’m doing, what my vlogs are like, and he was giving me advice as well, which was quite good.
Like I said, when anyone asks me what I do for a living, obviously, I’ve got a normal job in a warehouse, but I always mention I do my vlogs on the side. And it’s quite interesting that people ask questions about it. I feel like I have to tell people, if you know what I mean.
I’m not trying to scare anyone off gambling. I’m not anti-gambling in any way. But it made me chill out and relax talking about it, and I’m so comfortable with it now, like talking to you right now, obviously.
Jamie:
Yeah, there’s just freedom, right? I can sense it in your voice.
Andy:
Totally, I agree, totally.
Jamie:
So, I guess one other question I have on the show — and then we can get into your story a little more — is, what is the most common question you get asked? Or, if there are a couple, feel free to share.
Andy:
The funny one I get is, “Oh, you can’t even do the lottery?” That’s a fun one in England. When someone asks me if I’m a gambling addict, they’re like, “You can’t even do the lottery?” That’s a fun one I get quite a lot, especially from people who aren’t gambling addicts or don’t identify as one.
The other one is, “Do you still get the urges?” I get that a lot.
Jamie:
What’s the answer to that one?
Andy:
No, I don’t. I still get dreams now and again, once in a blue moon. It’s quite bizarre, you wake up with a bit of a panic on for about a brief couple of seconds, and then you get your bearings. But no urges for a long, long time. I’d say that first 12 to 18 months is where they hit hardest. But no, no urges for a long time. Those are the two main questions I get asked.
So, a fun one is the lottery question, and the more serious one is, “Do I still get urges?”
Jamie:
Yeah, and I think those are pretty common questions. Those are two popular ones I get too. We just had some very large lotteries here in the U.S., and people were like, “Oh, I just want to spend a dollar or two.” I’m like, well, do what you want, but it’s a whole lot easier to have complete commitment than 98% commitment.
Andy:
Yeah, definitely. I mean, it’s one of those things, right? Once you open that door, even just a crack, it’s easy for everything to come flooding back in. So for me, it’s easier to just keep that door shut completely.
Jamie:
Exactly. So, I guess if you want, share a little bit more about your story. How did you start gambling? What are some of your first gambling memories? How did it develop over time, and what caused you to quit?
Andy:
Sure, no problem. I’ve told my story a lot now, so I’m quite comfortable with it. I suppose it all started when I was young. My granddad used to have a bet on horse racing, and my dad still does now. He still messages me when he backs a winner now and again, which is a bit strange, but I’ve come to terms with it.
I started gambling young, really. I remember my first bet on the Grand National over here in the UK. I’m not sure how familiar people in the U.S. are with it, but it’s probably the biggest horse race over here. It’s held once a year in Liverpool, and it’s kind of a race that stops the nation. Everyone has a bet, even if they don’t normally gamble. So, I must have been about 13 when I had my first bet — just a small one, 25 pence each way on a horse. It was exciting, you know?
Then I got to about 14 or 15, and I qualified as a football referee, or “soccer,” as you guys say in the States. I was doing two or three games on the weekend, earning a decent amount of money for someone my age, and I started having small bets on horse races, nothing major.
By the time I was 17 or 18, I was getting more into it. I was enjoying horse racing, placing bigger bets, and working part-time jobs at McDonald’s and Burger King. So, I had some extra money, and I’d use it for gambling.
I also remember playing cards with my mates, something called Three Card Brag, which is like a mini version of poker. We’d play with small change on a Friday night around someone’s house, especially if someone’s parents were away. It was all just for fun, but the seeds were there.
Then I met my wife, Becky, when I was about 21 or 22. We bought a house together, got online, and that’s when I was introduced to Texas Hold’em poker. That’s really when things took a turn.
At first, I was just playing small tournaments online, maybe five or ten pounds to enter. I thought I was pretty good at it, you know? I won a few tournaments, and that gave me this feeling that I could be successful. So, I started playing cash games — paying per hand instead of just tournaments. And that’s when the trouble really started.
I was working a decent job at a car manufacturing plant, earning good money, but I was working shifts — two weeks on days, two weeks on nights. My wife was working normal office hours, so I had a lot of free time on my hands. I was playing poker all the time, and then I started betting on horses again, football, anything really. I was spending more and more money.
Before I knew it, I was in debt. I went through four credit cards, maxing them out, and I applied for two unsecured loans and a secured loan on top of that. I was in a complete mess.
This was around 2005 or 2006. I was so deep into gambling that nothing else mattered. I was blinkered, completely in a bubble. I just couldn’t wait to gamble, whether it was poker, horses, football, whatever. The stakes kept going up, and I kept chasing that feeling of winning. It spiraled out of control.
Jamie:
Wow, that sounds intense. How did you finally stop?
Andy:
Yeah, it got bad. By 2007, I’d racked up about £60,000 in debt. My wife was pregnant with our first child, and I was still gambling. I was even stealing money out of her purse. It was awful.
It all came to a head on April 14th, 2007 — the day of my last bet. It was the day of the Grand National race, actually. I’d been up all night playing poker, lost a ton of money on a bad hand — I went all in on pocket twos and lost around £600. I completely snapped.
I went down into the cellar of our house, grabbed a hammer, and smashed my computer to bits. My wife came downstairs, asking what was going on, and I lied to her again, saying the computer had broken. It was a total lie, just like all the lies I’d been telling about the money, the statements, everything.
That day, I still went to the Grand National, and I gambled. But after that, I knew I had to stop. I tried to stop on my own for about six weeks, but I couldn’t. The pressure was building, and I couldn’t pay the bills.
One day, I came home from work, and my wife had opened up one of my bank statements. She saw the mess I was in, and I just blurted it all out. My son was three months old at the time, giggling in her arms, completely unaware of what was happening. But I had broken her trust completely. She was in tears, heartbroken, and she kicked me out of the house.
I went to my mum and dad’s that day. That 15-minute drive to their house, I’ll never forget it. No music on in the car, just silence, and all I could hear in my head was the death march, like I was heading to my own funeral. It was such a low point.
When I got to my mum and dad’s, I told them everything. They were furious, of course, but they knew I needed help. That’s when I found Gamblers Anonymous (GA). I didn’t want to go, but I had no choice. I was at rock bottom.
At my first meeting, I was kicking and screaming, thinking, “No one’s like me.” But as soon as I started listening to everyone’s stories, I realized I was wrong. Everyone had stories just like mine — the same lies, the same behaviors. It took me a few meetings to accept that I was one of them, but I’m so glad I did.
Jamie:
That’s such a powerful moment, right? When you walk into GA and realize you’re not alone. Everyone has the same story, the same patterns.
Andy:
Exactly. I always say, GA saved my life. It gave me a space to talk to people who understood what I was going through, to rebuild trust, and to learn how to live without gambling.
I remember that first year being incredibly difficult. There were moments when I wanted to give up. I remember on Boxing Day 2007, my wife and son had gone to visit family, and I was left on my own. I had £20 in my pocket, and I was bouncing off the walls, wanting to gamble.
I didn’t know what to do, so I decided to get rid of the £20 by ordering a Chinese takeaway. It sounds silly, but that £20 of food saved me from gambling that day. And that’s how I got through it, one day at a time.
When I hit my one-year milestone at GA, it felt incredible. It wasn’t just about the gambling; it was about becoming a better person. I had been so confrontational before, always ready to argue. But GA taught me to pause, to think before reacting, to be a kinder person. I really do believe I’m a better person now because of it.
Jamie:
It’s incredible how recovery changes us, not just from the gambling, but as people. We become better versions of ourselves.
Andy:
Yeah, exactly. And that’s what’s kept me going — becoming a better person, rebuilding relationships with my wife, my family, and my friends. It’s been a long journey, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Andy:
Yeah, and it’s not just about stopping gambling, is it? It’s about changing the way you live your life. I’m still learning, every day. Even now, I’ve been off gambling for years, but I’m always trying to improve myself, trying to be a better dad, a better husband. I still have my faults, but I’m happy with where I am now.
That first year was rough. I was in GA every week, and it became like my medicine. I needed to talk to people who understood. And it was important to rebuild the trust with my wife, Becky. That’s the biggest thing you lose — it’s not the money, it’s the trust. I didn’t want to just stop gambling, I wanted to be a better person for my family.
There were a lot of difficult moments. Like I said, that Boxing Day moment was huge for me. It showed me that even when I was alone, I had the strength to resist gambling. After that, every day felt like a little victory, and over time, those little victories started adding up.
And then, I started to fill my time with other things. I got into running, did a bunch of half marathons, and raised money for charity. That helped me a lot. It gave me something positive to focus on, and it felt good to give back.
Jamie:
Yeah, it’s amazing how we start filling our lives with positive things instead of gambling. It’s like, once we take gambling out, there’s so much room for everything else.
Andy:
Definitely. It’s like you get your life back. I’m a humble guy. I don’t need much, but now I can do things I never thought I’d be able to do. I’ve got a nice house, a great family, and I can go on holidays without worrying about money.
And speaking of holidays, that New York trip I mentioned earlier was like a pinnacle moment for me. It was something Becky and I had always dreamed of, and to be able to self-fund a trip like that without relying on anyone else, it was amazing. We did all the touristy things — saw the Empire State Building, went to Ground Zero, saw a show on Broadway, visited the Statue of Liberty. It was like living in a movie.
I remember standing there in New York and thinking, “Andy, you’ve done good.” It was a humbling moment. I had worked so hard to get to that point, and it felt like I had really turned my life around. That trip was a huge milestone for me in my recovery.
Jamie:
It sounds like that trip really symbolized everything you’ve accomplished in your recovery. It’s not just about the money or the stuff, but about the freedom and the life you’ve built.
Andy:
Yeah, exactly. It’s about the freedom to live my life the way I want to. I’m not greedy. I don’t need a lot. I’m just happy to have a roof over my head, pay my bills, and spend time with my family. I’m a simple guy, and I’m grateful for everything I’ve got now.
That trip to New York was like a reward for all the hard work I’d put in. And it reminded me that I’m in control of my life now. I’m not controlled by gambling anymore. I’ve got freedom, and that’s priceless.
Jamie:
That’s so powerful, Andy. I love hearing that. And like you said, it’s not just about stopping gambling, it’s about building a life that you’re proud of. I think that’s the real reward.
Andy:
Absolutely. And like I said earlier, I’m still learning. Every day, I’m learning something new about myself and about recovery. It’s a lifelong process, but I’m in it for the long haul.
And I think that’s the message I want to share with anyone listening: It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. If you’re struggling, just know that you can get through it. It’s going to be tough at times, but once you come out the other side, life is so much better.
Jamie:
That’s such great advice. And like you said, it’s a day-by-day process. You’ve built an incredible life for yourself, and it’s inspiring to hear your story.
Andy:
Thanks, Jamie. I really appreciate that. And it’s been great talking to you and sharing my story. I hope it helps someone out there who might be listening and thinking that they’re alone. You’re not alone, and there’s a way out.
Jamie:
Absolutely. Well, Andy, this has been amazing. I’m so glad we got to chat today, and I’m sure we’ll have plenty of topics to cover in future episodes. Thanks again for coming on the show, and I look forward to our next conversation.
Andy:
Thanks, Jamie. It’s been a pleasure, and I look forward to chatting again soon.
Jamie:
I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did. Andy’s story is a powerful reminder that no matter how deep into gambling addiction you are, there’s always a way out. His journey from being £60,000 in debt to taking his dream trip to New York is proof that recovery is possible, and that life can be so much better on the other side.
As always, Andy and I are not therapists or professionals. We’re just two guys who’ve been through it and are here to share our stories to help you. If you’re struggling, please reach out for professional help. Go to a doctor, a therapist, or a support group like GA. There’s help out there, and you don’t have to do this alone.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the After Gambling Podcast. If you want to connect with Andy, you can find all the links to his YouTube channel and social media in the show notes at aftergambling.com/47.
Music for the show is Something Elated by Broke for Free, licensed under the Creative Commons License. I’ll see you in the next episode.
