This is episode 42 of the After Gambling Podcast.
In this episode, we’ll kick off season three and talk about what we have planned.
Hey there, and welcome to the After Gambling Podcast.
My name is Jamie. I’m a compulsive gambler, and I’m also the host of this show.
The last time I gambled was July 15th of 2010.
Now, as I said in the intro, this is the first episode of season three. And so today we’re going to cover kind of three different areas.
I’m going to give you an update about what you can expect from podcasts coming up.
I’m going to talk a little bit about what I’m going to be doing on social media.
And then finally, we’ll wrap up with kind of the quick hitter for today.
So first of all, let’s talk about season three of the podcast.
What does it even mean?
Basically, in season three, I’m just going to become a little more flexible with the podcast.
I’m going to be posting more frequently, but a lot of the episodes are going to be shorter in nature.
I really think it’s important to kind of keep those messages going throughout the week, instead of having just kind of this one big one where we think about it in depth, and then we kind of have seven days until we get another episode.
I just like to share my thoughts just to help myself personally, but also I think it’s going to help you in recovery, especially early on to have the frequency, kind of those little reminders along the way.
Like I say, I think it’s kind of like why people tell you to go to multiple meetings a week.
So this is just kind of a way to create multiple podcasts a week, but also just to have shorter episodes.
It’s something that maybe it’s not a full blown topic because sometimes I get caught up in my own head, and I say, “Well, that’s not enough to kind of do a whole podcast on,” but it’s something that I think is very important to share.
So this format is going to free me up to do that.
And then also going to continue to do the interviews. Those will be the longer interview sessions, the longer podcasts. So we’re still going to have those.
We’re just going to kind of mix in some additional podcasts along the way that aren’t just going to be on a Friday release. They’ll just kind of be as I get to them, and as I have thoughts really.
It’s kind of almost like Twitter, but on podcasting, if that makes any sense.
So that’s a perfect segue. Let’s talk about the second thing, social media.
This is the other place that, on the same topic, I already currently use Twitter quite a bit to share some of my thoughts and share articles that I think are really kind of thought-provoking throughout the week.
So that’s a good place. If you aren’t already, follow me.
Even if you want to create a private account, a dummy account, because you don’t want to use your main account, follow along. I’m going to do that, and I’m going to share my own story on Twitter because that’s a place where, like I say, I try to share things that kind of enlighten you about what’s going on in the world.
And also, there’s so many other people on Twitter that you can interact with and kind of get to see what they’re putting out so you can understand and hear their story as well.
So definitely check me out on Twitter at after gambling.
And then Instagram, I’m going to be doing a lot more.
I’m going to play around with doing some videos and some of the Instagram stories, which are kind of just 24-hour stories where it’s up and then it’s down.
So again, this is just something to free me up to just kind of share my stories.
Share little bits of information, encouragement along the way.
If I get feedback, I’ll be able to respond to it quickly without having to do a full-blown podcast episode.
So it’s just going to kind of be something where across all the channels, whenever I think there’s something important to share, I’m going to do so and not be confined to kind of the podcast structure, the traditional podcast structure.
Like I say, follow along on Instagram. On Twitter.
And then you can check out on Facebook, the After Gambling Podcast page. You can like the page. I’ll be posting stuff and sharing stuff there.
If there’s interest, I’ll create a group around that—a private group where people that listen to the podcast can kind of chat and talk about recovery.
So if that’s something that would be of interest, shoot me a message. Let me know because I don’t want to create it if nobody’s going to be there.
But if you’re already logging into Facebook, that’s a great place to kind of check in and talk to other people and connect.
So if there is interest, I will put that together as well.
The other thing I really want to stress—I’m going to be starting to do a lot, lot more with social media.
So if you’re not already, check me out on social media at after gambling on Twitter, on Instagram.
And then you can also check out the After Gambling Podcast page on Facebook.
But primarily, most of the content is going to be going on to Instagram, and then Twitter.
I’ll just continue to share my views, and I’d love to have you follow along.
You can kind of jump in on those because that is a great way to kind of follow along in between episodes.
Just kind of see what’s going on, what I’m thinking, what I’m sharing, because those are the things that, as I’m constantly engaged with kind of the current state of gambling and the upcoming expansion of gambling and just kind of articles that I find that I think are really interesting and would like to share—that’s a great place to check that out.
So if you want, make a private account, make a secret account if you don’t want to follow on your main accounts. But create an account, follow along because I will be sharing a lot of stuff there.
A lot of the content is going to be showing up on social media. Probably more frequently even than the podcast.
The podcast will still have a lot of stuff. But as I said, I really want to use those other mediums.
It just is a great way for me to get content out to you more often because I do think the consistency and the frequency are a really, really important thing, especially early on.
So with the house cleaning out of the way, let’s dive into the topic for today’s episode.
And it comes from a podcast I was listening to by Gary Vaynerchuk. You can find Gary at GaryVEE, pretty much anywhere on social media.
If you follow Gary, you know, he posts a ton of stuff, so I will not be posting nearly as frequently as Gary, but hopefully starting to post more and more, as I mentioned.
But I was just listening to an interview. The latest one he had come out was with Charlamagne tha God. And in it, there was a call-in and he was talking to somebody.
It was all about sales and selling. Somebody had started their own business, and they were kind of feeling uneasy in the selling process. And the advice he gave was about sales, but I took so much more from it. And I think it’s very applicable to our lives in recovery.
So what he told the person that called in was, “Never make decisions for the other party.”
Now, being in the business end, what he was saying was, don’t go in and just kind of assume that the other person is going to buy or not going to buy based on your assumptions. And don’t sell them what you want to sell them. Kind of listen to them and feel them out and let them buy.
Because so many times, I’m in sales, so many times we let our personal views and our thoughts dictate how we sell.
Now, how this transitions into recovery and life in recovery for me is that when we’re going and starting to reach out to people and share our story with other people, it’s frightening, right?
It’s just like that sales pitch where you go in, and you aren’t sure how it’s going to end. And going in, you have anxiety, and you’re anxious about it because you don’t know how it’s going to end. And probably because, in your mind, you think it’s probably going to end badly.
So I think when we address these conversations with other people, it’s important to not make decisions for the other party. Don’t go into it with our assumptions that, “Okay, if I tell them, they’re going to defriend me, they’re not going to want to hang out. My mom isn’t going to want to talk to me anymore. They’re never going to treat me the same.”
All these things that we build up—this big story, right?—that we create in our head about why we can’t tell anybody else because we’ve already decided for them how they’re going to react to us.
Think about that. We’ve already decided for them how they’re going to react to us. We don’t even give them a chance.
So, never make decisions for the other party.
And then Gary went on, and he was talking about, he goes, “And furthermore,” he goes, “Look, I lose a lot of pitches.”
And so in the cases when we do reach out to somebody and it goes bad, how do we handle that? And I love Gary’s take on it. He said, “Look, I just figure it’s on them. It’s their fault that they don’t get it. They don’t get it yet. And so it’s their fault. I presented it to them, and if they don’t get it, I can’t do anything for them.”
And I think there’s a lot, like I said, that we can take into these discussions. We can kind of go into this discussion, and if it doesn’t go well, say, “Look, they don’t get it.”
And I’m not saying to say that to them or be mad at them or upset with them. Just say, “Look, they don’t get it yet.”
Maybe they haven’t had an experience with addiction. Maybe they don’t know anybody that’s been through an addiction. Because those are things that change our worldview.
Talking to somebody that—one of their best friends has dealt with some kind of addiction, whether it be gambling or alcohol or drugs, or you name it—they’re going to be so much more open and understanding than the person that just doesn’t get it.
So if you do go into one of these conversations and it goes terribly, just say, “Hey, look, it’s not my fault. It’s theirs.”
Don’t take that pain on yourself, and don’t take it back just because they don’t get it yet. That’s on them.
So, yeah, I just really liked that. Never make decisions for the other party and then blame them when things go wrong.
I hope this helps. I think it’s something that will hopefully unlock some of that tension, some of that anxiety.
When you go into these conversations, like I say, I’ve found—I’m trying to think of one off the top of my head that’s gone poorly—I haven’t had one yet. Eight years.
I’m starting to open up. I’ve had nothing but positive reactions for the most part. When people are negative, they keep it to themselves unless they’re a troll behind a keyboard.
And then at that point, they’re not even big enough to kind of put their name behind it or say it to your face. So, we shouldn’t take that into consideration.
And besides, we should just blame them for not getting it, right?
And so that’s it for today. Hopefully, you enjoy the more frequent but shorter episodes.
Like I say, follow along at after gambling on Instagram, on Twitter, check it out on Facebook as well.
And yeah, I just look forward to interacting with you, look forward to getting these interviews out to you, and seeing what you think as we kind of move into the end of 2018 and into 2019, which is hard to believe.
We’re kind of fast approaching one year of the podcast.
Thanks again for listening. Thanks for all your reviews. Thanks for all your messages.
Thanks for going on. I see a lot of people popping on Reddit, popping on Discords, and saying, “Hey, I found this from the podcast.”
Glad you’re doing that. Continue to do that. Continue to reach out and just continue to listen along, take action, and let me know how things are going because I love to hear from you.
As always, I present this information for educational purposes. I think you can learn a lot from it. But I’m not a doctor, I’m not an attorney, I’m not a therapist—I’m not any of those people that you should go see to talk about this to make sure that you get the best advice for you.
So please seek out the help of a professional because this is a very serious addiction.
And on that note, check your state or your country. So many places—I didn’t realize until this year that Ohio offers free counseling, free counseling sessions for people that have a gambling problem and families of people that have a gambling problem.
Never knew about it. So do some research, seek out help, and go get that help that you need.
And remember, finally, music for the podcast is Something Elated by Broke For Free. It’s licensed under the Creative Commons license.
That’s it for this episode. I will see you in the next episode.
