This is episode 40 of the After Gambling Podcast.
In this episode, we’ll talk about mental and physical exhaustion.
Hey there, and welcome to the After Gambling Podcast. My name is Jamie. I’m a compulsive gambler, and I’m also the host of this show. The last time I gambled was July 15th of 2010.
I just really appreciate you being here. I’m excited about the fact that you’re listening to this to either help yourself, help a friend, or help others in some capacity. I think we can do a lot of good by sharing thoughts and information. Being here, I think this is a great place for us to do so.
Today, I wanted to do something a little bit different and talk about the mental and physical exhaustion that comes from addiction—in our case, a gambling problem. But then also in recovery. Because I’ve seen this on both sides of things.
So if you’re experiencing this, if you were a gambler, obviously you experienced the exhaustion at some point. And we’ll get into some of the things that lead to this exhaustion in the episode. But now you’re in recovery, hopefully. And you’re also probably, maybe at times, getting a little frustrated because you feel like, okay, I’m still exhausted. And this is an exhausting process. When will it end?
And I promise you that it definitely gets better over time. And hopefully some of the things we’ll talk about in this episode will help to expedite that process for you. So that you can learn from the things that I’ve learned. And hopefully kind of get to a better place even faster.
So first, let’s talk about just the mental and physical exhaustion that comes from gambling.
Now, the first and most obvious one is just the time spent. And the loss of sleep. Because if you’re like me, I’m sure you spent many days going with almost no sleep in order to gamble. Because we’re trying to gamble at weird times. When people don’t expect us.
So oftentimes that’s through the night. I know I pulled several 24-hour days where I didn’t sleep at all. I would just stay up all night playing poker. And all of a sudden it would be morning. And then I didn’t want to fall asleep for 45 minutes to an hour. Because that would be bad. And I probably wouldn’t wake up. And I had to get to work. Or to see other people. And to stay accountable to kind of life. So people wouldn’t figure it out.
So you have that physical exhaustion of just taking so much time out of your life. And robbing yourself of sleep. Which I believe is one of the most important things that we can do in our lives. Is to make sure that we get an adequate amount of sleep. Because I think our bodies need rest. I mean we’re not meant to be up 24 hours a day. Our bodies need rest.
And I think we can get caught up in the hustle of trying to do too much in a day. And just like when we’re gambling, we’re trying to take shortcuts. I think cutting out sleep is one of those shortcuts that gets us in trouble.
So I definitely think sleep is one of those important things. If you’re not on a pretty regular sleep schedule, I encourage you to try to get on one. Mine’s not perfect. But it’s one of those things that I really listen to my body. And whenever I feel like I’m getting tired, I try to sleep.
Now obviously when we’re in the midst of our addiction, sleep is the last thing we’re worried about. We have way too many other things on our mind. But that’s one of those things that leads to this exhaustion on the physical end of things.
So while that one makes a lot of sense to everybody, the side I want to spend more time on is just the mental exhaustion. Just feeling completely drained. And I remember during my gambling days, I just, I had no energy for anything else.
And most of all, it was simply because my mind never shut off. The mind of a gambler, the mind of an addict, is never off. Because we are constantly trying to scheme our way to figure out when we can go gamble again. Or how we’re going to get money to gamble. Or how we’re going to get money to pay bills. And then we start thinking about money that’s lost. And we live a lot of our time in the past.
And we live so much of our time in the future, planning for future gambling, and the hopes that this time will be different, and that something good will come out of it, and we’ll be able to pay off our debts and be done with gambling.
But all the while, it’s just that mental grind. I mean, it’s just that daily grind of stress and anxiety. And we just put ourselves through the wringer with pure thoughts. And so while sleep is obviously part of that physical exhaustion, I really think the mental side is an even bigger problem.
It’s one of those things that we just, like I said, we spend so much time, it consumes us to the point of exhaustion. Our minds never have a time to just kind of rest and be. We’re always on the move and thinking about how we’re going to tell a lie to get money, or just what our next move is going to be. And that stress, our minds won’t let us relax.
So I think that’s one of those things that, I’m sure you’re listening to this and you’re probably nodding your head and saying, yeah, I definitely felt that. So it’s something to very much be aware of, not only from your gambling days, but also going forward.
So if this is ringing true, what is that story for you? What’s the thing that just keeps battering your mind? And my suggestion is that you start to make a plan, obviously around how to resolve it, but also start to open up and share with somebody else what it is that’s dragging you down, what that thought is.
A lot of times this isn’t easy, because a lot of times it doesn’t just involve us. It might involve other people. And when it involves other people, we don’t want to bring them down, or concern them, or upset them. But as you know, I believe that on the opposite side of tough conversations is where freedom lives.
I mean, that’s Brene Brown. A lot of her work focuses on this, and that living a happy and free life is the result of working through a lot of tough conversations. So if you can have that with your family, with your friends, and if you can’t have it with either one of those, this is where therapy is huge.
I’ve often mentioned therapy is a great place. I mean, I liken it to dumping all your problems on somebody that you don’t know. So you don’t really have that concern of, okay, am I going to ruin their life or their day, because that’s just what you’re paying them to take out your trash. And that’s what a lot of these thoughts are. They’re just trash. They’re mental pictures and movies that aren’t doing us any good, but they’re stuck on repeat.
And I’m telling you, the way to get that out of repeat is to start to talk about them with somebody else.
And so what might some of these topics be? Obviously, we’ll talk about the most common one, which is going to be money. Especially in recovery. We talked about when you’re gambling, money is a focus, and then also in recovery, money is a focus again. As you’re trying to figure out how to repay debts, and thinking about lost wages.
And really the thing that’s helped me most is just that I’ve sort of gotten on a plan. And I have money that I write a check each month, and it goes to pay off debts that I have outstanding. And I’ve just kind of gotten in that groove where each month in the middle of the month, the check goes out.
And I don’t think twice about it. I don’t really hang up on what the balance is. I don’t focus too much on it. Because it really doesn’t do me any good to focus on it. I know that it’s getting paid off. I know it’s getting lower. I know each month that when I send that check out, it’s part of the plan, and things are going to be better at the end of the month. I just don’t need to focus on the day-to-day small details, which I used to.
So if you’re struggling with the money stuff, I would definitely encourage you, get a plan, a financial plan, have somebody help you if you need, get going, and just start making progress on those things. And if it’s a dollar or ten dollars that you’re paying somebody back at a time, it doesn’t matter the amount. What matters is getting in that habit. Because then your mind, it just goes off your mind because you’re like, okay, it’s the first of the month, I need to write that check for a dollar or ten dollars or a hundred dollars or a thousand dollars, whatever it is. And then you just become kind of in auto mode, and it really takes the mental stress and the exhaustion that comes from that stress out of the financial problem.
Then the other source for me of so much of my mental exhaustion and physical exhaustion is just thoughts of the unknown. And just like I said, I was talking about the pictures in the movies, we can come up with these elaborate stories about how things might play out. But at the end of the day, it’s just our fear of the unknown. And I think it’s important for us to really focus on the things that we can control and control them. And the things that are unknown, that’s life. And we can’t really worry about them because they’re in the future. There’s nothing that we can do in the future to change them, but we can change whatever our action is right now.
And I know with work, I’ve been real busy at work, and I kind of get caught up at times, and I just feel so overwhelmed and so exhausted because I’m like, man, I have this list of things, and I don’t even know when I’m going to get them done. But the best thing I’ve done recently is just whenever I get in those modes, I say, okay, what’s one thing that I know needs done, and just do it. And then what’s another thing that I know needs done, and then do it. And if I need to take a little break, I take a little break. But I take that break knowing that I’ve made some accomplishment. I didn’t just sit and worry about and kind of think about all the stuff that I had. I did something about it. And that’s where the actions come in, and sometimes it’s, there are simple little things that seem insignificant.
But at the end of the day, I look back, and I’m like, oh, I did that, and I did that, and I did that, and I did that. I actually got a lot done today. And so I didn’t let that feeling of overwhelm, that feeling of exhaustion take over to the point where it made me kind of just fall further and further into the exhaustion and into the overwhelming state that my mind can put me in real easily.
And then finally, I wanted to kind of wrap up with something back on the physical side with recovery. Like I said, sleep is one of those important things. I think exercise and eating habits are also a very important thing. I know I’ve talked about this before, I’ve never been one to stick to a diet or exercise for extended periods of time.
I grew up, I was always kind of associated as an athlete, and I’m still in pretty decent shape compared to most people I look around here in the United States. But we’re also a country that is morbidly obese, and we have a lot of obesity problems at all ages. So it’s not necessarily great to compare yourself to other people, and we really shouldn’t do that anyway.
And I knew deep down that I needed to get in better shape, and one thing I’ve done recently is really focused on my diet. And I’ve been eliminating a lot of sugars, and I’ve lost a lot of weight. Overall, I just kind of feel better, I have more energy, and I really think a lot of that is because I am focusing on eating better foods, higher quality foods, more natural foods.
And it’s something that I think is definitely helping with a lot of the anxiety, the depression, and just the feeling of exhaustion and overwhelm. I don’t feel it, I have a lot of energy right now, and it’s really due to losing some weight and focusing on eating properly. And I’m going to start mixing in some of my workouts again. I wanted to kind of start with eating first and build a habit at a time. But it’s something that I wanted to share because it’s really helped me quite a bit.
So, what do you think? I feel like this episode is one that’s going to resonate with a lot of people, just because I know how mentally and physically exhausted I was when I was gambling, and I know how mentally and physically exhausted I’ve been in recovery. So hopefully some of these things, if nothing else, you can say, “Okay, hey, other people feel the same way, I’m not messed up, this is normal.” It’s a normal part of recovery, which is definitely a big takeaway. If you’re feeling these things, it’s just part of the process, and it gets better, as I said. And hopefully, you can use some of the information provided here, try some of the things out, see what works for you. I think everybody’s a little bit different, but I think the core principles of a lot of this stuff are really going to help you.
So, if there’s a conversation you need to have, or a few pounds that you need to drop, whatever it is, start taking that first little action like I was talking about. Don’t think about it too much. I mean, create a plan, I like plans, don’t get me wrong, but as you’re making the plan, also start implementing the actions along the way so that you don’t spend all your time planning and never take an action.
That’s it for today. Remember, this is for informational purposes, and I am not a doctor, a lawyer, a therapist, any of those types of things. I don’t have letters behind my name, so as I mentioned, go see those professionals, get the help you need. Especially on the therapy, and we talked about today, I think therapy is a huge, huge part of recovery. And you can get that at a GA meeting, you can get that at many of the other types of group environments like GA, or you can get that in a one-on-one therapy session. And I really think it’s important. It’s been a huge part of my recovery, and I really appreciate the fact that even at GA, I don’t just talk about my gambling, I can talk about other things in my life that are bothering me. And just by saying them to a couple people, all of a sudden, the problem seems to not be as important. It’s not as big, it’s not as daunting as it was before. So use those outlets to get the professional help you need.
And that’s going to wrap up this episode. I will see you again in episode 41. I’m looking forward to doing a lot of recordings. I know I’ve been promising some more interviews, and I have a bunch of people getting lined up. Might take a fall break here in the next couple weeks. I will let you know if we take a little fall break, and that will give me time to get those recordings recorded and then edited, because they are kind of time-consuming. But I’m really looking forward to having some more chats because I think those are the ones that help me the most. I love doing the interviews, just have to make some more time for them. So hopefully, this next 10 episodes, I’m hoping to fill it with a lot of good stuff and a ton of interviews, so I’m really looking forward to that.
And then finally, music for the show is “Something Elated” by Broke For Free, and it’s licensed under the Creative Commons license. My name is Jamie, I’m a compulsive gambler, and I will see you in the next episode.
