This is episode 39 of the After Gambling Podcast. In this episode, we’ll talk about the walls that we build when we’re gambling and how we can start to tear those down in recovery.
Hey there and welcome again to the After Gambling Podcast. My name is Jamie. I’m a compulsive gambler and I’m also the host of this show. The last time I gambled was July 15th of 2010.
At the end of last week’s episode, I mentioned that I had started a YouTube channel and posted a video there. If you haven’t checked it out yet, this episode will highlight one of the topics discussed there. I really liked the imagery that came up during the video, and I wanted to share it here.
The video is all about compulsive gambling statistics and how I believe they’re vastly underreported. I used an image in the slides that had a triangle in the middle representing the compulsive gambler, or us. Around that triangle were three other triangles representing different aspects of our lives: significant others or family, friends, and work.
These areas are the most impacted by our gambling behavior. Of course, there could be others involved, like community groups or other relationships, but for simplicity, I grouped them into those three areas. As I was explaining it, I talked about how we isolate these people—how we lie to them, manipulate them, and put up walls between them and us. And each time we lie, it’s like we’re laying down a brick. One lie becomes two, then ten, then hundreds of lies, until we have these walls all around us.
We build those walls so high that we can’t see out, and it feels like we’re trapped. We think gambling is the only way out. But in recovery, the real way out is to start removing those bricks. We do that by coming clean with our family, reconnecting with our friends, and being honest at work.
This idea of tearing down the walls really resonated with me because it visually captures the isolation we put ourselves through. We think we’re protecting ourselves, but what we’re really doing is cutting ourselves off from the people we care about and who care about us. And the way to start reconnecting is by taking down those walls, one brick at a time.
In Gamblers Anonymous, we talk about making amends where possible. That’s one way of removing those bricks. And when we start doing that, we begin to see out again. We see our friends and family and start engaging with them. We stop making excuses to stay away so that we can gamble. We go out and make connections instead.
Work is another area that starts to thrive when we stop gambling. Even if we weren’t actively gambling at work, our productivity still suffered. We were distracted, thinking about bets or checking scores. When we stop, we can give our full attention to our jobs, and it shows. We rebuild those connections with colleagues and become more engaged in our work.
The key to recovery, for me, is about reconnecting with all these areas. When we’re connected, we’re not isolated. And that’s the real battle—getting out of isolation and back into connection with the people around us.
Another thing I wanted to mention today is just to say congratulations to you. If you’re listening, you’re making progress. Whether you gambled yesterday, last week, or haven’t gambled in years, the fact that you’re here listening to this means you’re taking steps toward change. That’s huge.
Whether it’s listening to this podcast, reading about gambling addiction, or understanding concepts like “near miss” or “losses disguised as wins,” you’re learning, and that knowledge will help you. The more you educate yourself about gambling, the stronger you’ll be in your recovery.
I’ve been doing something similar recently with my diet. I changed the way I eat, and before I did, I really researched it. I wanted to understand the side effects, what I might experience, and how to overcome challenges. When I did face those challenges, I knew what to do because I’d planned for it. The same goes for gambling—planning ahead will help you navigate the tough moments.
Urges will come. Friends might ask you to join a fantasy football league. If you have a plan, you can deal with those situations confidently. You can say, “No, I don’t do that anymore,” and move on. It’s about having a strategy in place before the situation arises.
So congratulations on your journey. If you’re at one week, one month, three months, or a year, be proud of yourself. Smile. Enjoy this moment. Even if it’s just for a minute, take time to recognize how far you’ve come.
Stay connected. Get on Reddit, join a Discord chat, find a community. It could be therapy, a support group, or just talking with friends. Staying connected is key to recovery, and it’s what helps us move forward.
As always, I’m not a doctor, lawyer, or therapist. Please seek professional help if you need it. This podcast is a bridge to help you get there, but professional support is important, and you deserve it.
Finally, the music for this show is “Something Elated” by Broke For Free, licensed under Creative Commons. I’ll see you in the next episode.
